I'll tell you what I want

I am having hard time concerntrating at work. Partly because I am not doing interesting work right now. Gary would have had the project setup and gave me direction on which way I should ramp up. Partly because I have so much none work stuff I want to do.

I want to clean up clutters at home. After cleaning up, I want to organize whatever left. I want to clean the whole house. I want to cook good dishes and have them ready when Noel gets home. I want to bake good desserts and fill the house up with great smell (I know it's hot, but I don't like spending money on things I can make myself). I want to water the new grass. I want to do laundry and line dry them on sunny days. I want to do the filings I haven't done for over half a year. I want to read the books that are waiting for me. I want to make progress on my knitting projects. I want to do all these chores so Noel and I have time to enjoy each other's company when we are together. Instead we try to do them when we get home and most of the time I am too tired (physically or mentally) to do them.

That's why I get in bad moods I dont' mean to because I always have to choose between doing what I need to do and what I want to do. If I have enough time to do both, I would not feel bad sacrificing doing what I want to for what I need to, or feeling guilty not doing what I need to for what I want to.

What he did that made me happy:

He remembered to take out the recycling! He surprised me. Since he got home just minutes before I ask him to pick me up. We went straight to Lost when we got home, I didn't think he got any chance to do it. I was all disappointed that we'll have to wait another week to get the recyclings out (and the bins in the house were completely full). But I saw the bins outside as I saw him off and too a quick glance at the bins in side which was surprisingly empty. Don't know when he did it but it made me happy that he did not forget it.

He filled up Listerine and q-tips. Yes, I noticed.

He emailed me today to let me know he was busy and will call before he leaves work.