Friday, August 05, 2005

This is why I think we will work:

I am sure I tried telling you this but it's probably too complicated and confusing. That's why I think writing it down might convey the idea better.

I spent a lot of time in our relationship trying to make you in to a person I want you to be. The reason I did that is because I did not realized what I needed to do was working on making me to a person I want to be. A person where I can be happy and do things that are meaningful for me.

Let me emphasis the "I did not realized what I was doing" part. It took me a lot of thinking to figure that out. Neither of us realized it. Plus I've always been measuring you the way I measure myself and it's not right because you are a different person. That also too me too long to realized.

Coming to these realizations is a huge break through for me. It will enables me to deal with the root of the problem. The level of my unhappiness is also part of what make me think hard and deep in to issue, situation and myself. I think if I tackle my life and focus on doing things that I will make my life meaningful, I can be less demanding on your performance. That will give you a more tolerable environment for you to improve yourself. Having you help me remind me that you just don't see same things I see will also help remind me our level of observation and learn are not the same but still trying to improve.

This is why I think we can work on ourselves together. Because we will give each other enough room but still not facing the road alone.

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